Cruises, takeovers and lifestyle travel

Lifestyle travel covers several quite different products that get talked about interchangeably. Choosing the wrong one for your situation is the most common mistake.

The formats

Why intensity is the key variable

A club night lasts four hours and you can go home. A week-long trip does not offer that, and the difference is much larger than it sounds on paper.

The same people, all day, every day, with alcohol available continuously and no exit — that magnifies whatever was already true about your agreement. Couples with clear agreements report excellent trips. Couples with vague ones report the worst experiences in the entire lifestyle.

Choosing a first trip

The consistent advice from experienced couples: start with a convention weekend in a city you could drive home from. It gives you the density of a large event with an escape route, and it costs a fraction of a week abroad.

A full-ship charter as a first lifestyle experience is the version people most often regret. You are on a ship, you cannot leave, and if it turns out this is not for you, you have six days to think about that.

Practical planning

• Book a room you can retreat to, and treat time alone in it as normal rather than a failure.
• Agree the trip in advance, including explicitly what happens if one of you wants to stop on day two.
• Check what the property actually is. “Clothing optional”, “lifestyle friendly” and “lifestyle” describe three different things.
• Check the couples-to-singles policy, which varies enormously and materially changes the atmosphere.
• Budget properly. These trips are expensive and financial stress compounds every other pressure.
• Book early. Popular events sell out six to twelve months ahead.

Local law

This is the part people ignore and should not. Resort properties often operate under rules that apply on the property and nowhere else, and behaviour that is unremarkable inside the gate can be a criminal matter outside it.

Public nudity, sexual conduct and even photography are regulated very differently across destinations, and a resort's tolerance is not a legal defence. Read the property's own guidance, and treat the boundary of the property as a real boundary. More in the legal questions couples ask.

Health and practicalities abroad

• Take your own supplies. Availability and quality vary and you do not want to be solving that on arrival.
• Check what your travel insurance covers, and what it does not.
• Know where medical care is and how it is paid for.
• Assume you may lose reliable phone signal, and agree how you will find each other if so.

The social side

The unexpected upside of these trips is the number of people you meet who live nowhere near you. Couples routinely come home with connections across several cities, and for people in small or private local scenes that is often the main reason to go.